Everyone loves a flawless victory.
Like many of us, I tend to hover, sometimes detrimentally, over the idea of a “perfect” plan, album, business, etc. I often hold myself at a higher standard than may be actually realistic. The mental berating subjected once I have missed the mark, (sometimes by inches), is essentially more harmful than helpful.
As an artist, I can testify to the countless hours, rewrites, redos, and reworks it takes to get to a product that I’m infinitely proud of. Once that goal has been achieved there is a nagging persistence to keep revisiting; just in case there was a specific element that could have been added or erased. Such is the case with my latest effort, “Kon10gency Plan.”
This project has been in concept and pre-production for literal years. There was an added pressure in my mind because this will be my 10th solo musical creation…a milestone for me. The long years and efforts I’ve had to endure to get to this point could be all diminished with one glaring fault, right? As foolish as that sounds when I say it aloud that is hardly the case with the benefit of hindsight. Results stemming from this notion led to – no less than 5 versions of the project that were; simply put, “not good enough.”
😒 Finally I came to a conclusion that was far from my original plan; but it worked. The original 10 songs that I had wrestled and battled with had been whittled down to a mere 3. I knew that I had broken through because I had a sense of peace where the anxiety had once been. Old habits died hard and once again threatened to derail my progress. Re-listening to the meager 3 songs I found a blip I had made in the recording. A slip of a word; meaning the same, but not what I wanted to say. I almost made myself go back to the studio, jeopardizing my recording and my timetable. But then something strange happened; something that has happened quite a bit, in this year especially…
I let it be.
There is something inherently natural with human error. To force it the other way is almost…robotic. As with art and also life I have been learning to accept the mistakes that I make and let go – and that in itself is just perfect.